It has recently come to my attention that my business venture can only be short lived. Since today is the last day of my anti-Anthrax medicine, I have to rescind my offer of services regarding mail opening. Alas, it was a good run while it lasted. Since it never actually got started, I am going out on top. 100% awesome. I didn’t have a single complaint in the suggestion box. I didn’t have one unhappy customer. Granted there was not a suggestion box or any customers. That all seems mute now. Basically I walking out of this venture completely successful. I am pleased to be safely out of this dangerous line of business. I almost put my life on the line. No, I am not talking about the Anthrax. I’m good with that. I am talking about the possible paper cuts. They are nasty little b’s, and by b’s I mean bastards. (What! Watch your mouth! Dear readers, I can’t believe you read that. I know you did! I thought you would have the courtesy enough to skip over it. I am appalled. Okay, not really. You caught me.) Anyhoodles, Back to those pesky b’s. I am already trying to recover from a paper cut I sustained earlier this week. It has been a rough road, but I have been told by numerous people that I have complained to about it that I will live. They all rolled their eyes at me when I mentioned the possibilities of death from this wound, which makes me wonder what my life expectancy really is. The scoffing has me questioning my chances of survival. It’s not looking good.
Here’s hoping I make it to tomorrow.
3 comments:
You'll probably earn some modicum of fame if you die from a papercut.
Who wouldn't want that? But I think I am almost out of the woods. If I survive until tomorrow, I know it will be all right. Probably.
ah man, I wish I would've read your blog sooner, I just checked my mailbox and had a ton of mail!
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